Downers Grove, IL

Friday, May 28, 2010

     Today is the start of Memorial Day weekend, the traditional beginning of summer, and what better way to kick it off than with the Stanley Cup finals of the winter sport of hockey. If you are not a hockey fan I suggest you give it a try. It has the hitting of football, the fighting of the WBA, and as many teeth as a Willie Nelson concert. Go Blackhawks!

     Also, as you are barbecuing or relaxing this weekend, please take time to remember the men and women who gave their lives in the service of this country so that you are free to do those things. Unfortunately, freedom also includes the right to do stupid things as evidenced by this week's stories.

The Dangers Of Dyslexia – A man staying in a motel in Wenatchee, Washington, tried to call someone staying in room 119 of the same motel. Mistakenly, the man dialed 911 instead of 119 and the police showed up. When he explained that he was just trying to get in touch with room 119, the police went down to room 119 and discovered there was an arrest warrant for the man staying there. They also found heroin and other drugs. The occupant was arrested and taken from the motel room to jail; where police said they would "leave the light on for him."

The Difficulties Of Drug Identification – Police in Corpus Christi, Texas thought they made one of the largest drug seizures in the department's history when they removed 400 pot plants from a city park. Unfortunately they discovered that the plants they pulled were not marijuana at all but horse mint, a common weed. So the weed bust went bust as the officers picked weeds. On the bright side, the city park has never looked better.

Are You Kidding Me? – I have seen people drive while talking on the phone, eating, texting, applying makeup, and participating in just about every distraction known to mankind, but this week Amanda McBride of Minneapolis, topped them all. As she was driving to the hospital…at 70 MPH with the cruise control on, Amanda gave birth to an 8 pound baby boy. The baby's father – who cannot drive - was steering the car from the passenger seat while Amanda popped out a bundle of joy from behind the wheel. Everybody is doing fine and the parents are thinking about naming the baby Chevy Joe because he was born in a Chevy Cobalt. Too bad they didn't have a better car because Mercedes Joe has a much nicer ring to it.

Those Wacky Chinese – China is a big country packed with billions of people, and if you want to stand out from the crowd, you have to be unique. Dong Changsheng is a 50-year-old martial arts expert who decided to make his mark by pulling a 1,000 pound airplane by a rope attached to his EYELIDS! He pulled the plane about 15 feet, setting a new world record and the event was covered by Chinese TV. Unfortunately Dong hasn't been able to see any of the news reports since his eyelids now come down to his knees.?

Dale Irvin

Professional Summarizer

Downers Grove, IL

630-852-7695